Onichimaru Dance Dance and the Water Gun Clan!
by KarlaH
Summary: Sequel to Bottles of Sake and Paco the Wonder Stick. Get the link to BOSAPTWS on my profile. Naruto reads the warning on the bottle and pins it on his wall. Sakura reads it then Naruto gets high from weed. Once again...no real main plot. Dance Dance HaHu!
1. Dance Dance Cheeseburgers

Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto characters form this story...but I DO own myself (Karla, AKA: The Authoress) Chloe and of course, Scott.  
  
Yes...I am happy to inform you that the opening of  
  
Onichimaru Dance Dance and the Water Gun Clan!  
  
Has indeed been relished....  
  
"...."  
  
Now that I took a moment of my precious life to pretend I care...  
  
Lets get on with the show!

= Some messed-up place far-far away from Konoha

=

Onichimaru-pig laughed his evil laugh as his sound-nins danced to their own rhythm of beat.  
  
"Onichimaru-HU! HU! HU!"

"Onichimaru-HU! HU! HU!"

"Onichimaru-HU! HU! HU!"

"Onichimaru-HU! HU! HU!"  
  
His minions danced.  
  
('')

('')

('')

('')  
  
Onichimaru coughed out a piece of Sound-nin cheeseburger and pounded his fat fist onto the throne.

His minions stopped dancing and looking at him with care and concern.  
  
(A/N: Note the words care and concern)  
  
minions various faces: O.o;  
  
o.O;  
  
.O;  
  
O.O;  
  
o.o;  
  
--;  
  
"DIDN'T YOU SEE ME? I WAS CHOKING ON A FWAKING CHEESE BURGER! I WAS TURNING PINK! ARGH!"  
  
One minion however...did not agree with one of his statements...  
  
"Uh...On-Onichimaru-sama? You're a-always pink..."  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
That was the last thing Koji heard before Onichimaru-pig did a jutsu on his body that killed him instantly.

(Well...it actually put him in a limbo that had a munching moose in it)  
  
=

At team 7's apartment

=

Naruto let out a long whistle as Sasuke and Kakashi set up their new '69 inch T.V that him and the gang have been saving up for.

A small 'clank' noise was heard and Naruto turned his attention to the broken glass on the floor. It was the broken Sake bottle. Naruto rubbed his head as he remembered the hang over he had the next morning in the hospital.

Vomit.

Everywhere.

Poor nurses...

Ew...  
  
Naruto shook off the thought and put the Sake bottle and its stand on the table in front of the couch.

As Naruto removed his hand from the bottle, his finger brushed against the wrapper of the bottle. Naruto looked down, ripped off the paper, and read the Onichimaru's threat carefully to himself.

His eyes grew dark with concentration and determination. He grinned as he spoke aloud.

"Hey Sasuke! Kakashi! Guess what?"

Kakashi put down the T.V on its stand and put his hands on his back and Sasuke just dropped the T.V on his hands.

"What?"

Kakashi and Sasuke said at the same time. Sasuke actually grunted the words.

"This Sake was strawberry flavored! Heheheh!"

Naruto said as he went to his room to pin the back of the wrapper (The Onichimaru side) to his wall.

'That dunce made me drop the T.V on my perfectly new see-thru polished nails?!'

Sasuke thought with a grunt.

Sakura fallowed Naruto to his room. Naruto did not notice Sakura sneak in behind him as he closed the door. He pined the wrapper to his wall in the middle of all his other posters.

He turned around and saw Sakura. He turned his eyes to the door and saw the door locked. Not remembering that he himself actually locked the door out of habit and thought Sakura did it.

He turned back towards her and thought he got the message and he put an arm around her waist.

"Hey baby...I'm glad you finally came around..."

Naruto said as he lend forward to kiss her.

Sakura was really pissed off now. Naruto quickly opened his eyes and turned white as sweat dripped down his face and fell to the ground and grabbed his private parts. Sakura walked over to the wall and looked at the pinned wrapper as Naruto rolled on the floor saying something about his balls falling off (it's possible).

Sakura's eyes popped out and she gasped.  
  
Orochimaru's insane lost brother.  
  
Oh my god...  
  
Sakura ran out of the room and ran to Kakashi and Sasuke to confirm her new information.  
  
Naruto looked up, with Kyubi's powers already taking affect, he gasped after Sakura.

"I d-didn't know she hated me..."

He said as he closed the door, locked it, and reached under his mattress to retrieve his weed.

=

some where far far away

=

Deep male voice: Good...they found our warning...HA-HA!  
  
Normal female voice: Shut up...  
  
Deep male voice: Soon we shall rain terror on them!  
  
Authoress: Tell him to shut up and let me write my god-forsaken story...  
  
Normal female voice to deep male voice: SHUT UP! And why is your voice deep? You don't have a deep voice...  
  
Authoress: I put it like that so it would seem scary...  
  
Normal female voice: WELL FIX IT! YOU WANT SCARY? HOW ABOUT I TAKE THIS KEY BOARD AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS?!  
  
Authoress: SORRY! I'll fix it!  
  
=

End of Chapter1

=  
  
Wahoo...

I am done...

I know this chapter is gay but I am kind of in a hurry. Sorry this is late. I have summer skool you know... I'll write a longer chapter next time.

Tell me what you think.  
  
Review?


	2. Video Games and Weed

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and everyone else...

and...

...I forgot...who carez....  
  
Second chapter! Woo woo...I didn't read the reviews yet so I don't know if the story sucks or not...probably does...Its kind of hard to make this funny cuz there not drunk anymore. So I made Naruto smoke weed. Ha-ha....  
  
One of my friends says I act like Naruto, so he calls me Ramen Brain. Me and Naruto like Ramen Noodles...  
  
I'm crazy 'bout 'em. My favorite flavor is Miso (Chicken) flavored Ramen with a sprinkle of my secret powder.  
  
YOU'LL NEVER GET MY SECRET POWDER! NEVER! MWHAHAHAHA!  
  
On with my story...  
  
=  
  
Team 7's Apartment  
  
=  
  
It took Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke a while to go back to Naruto's room.  
  
First, on the way to tell Kakashi that Onichimaru was behind this, Sakura eyed their new Game Square2 sitting next to the T.V.  
  
And it turned out Sasuke-kun was playing Mario Party4!  
  
Kakashi was playing too I guess...  
  
...  
  
Oh look!  
  
...  
  
Sasuke-kun is playing! :)

So...Sakura thought she should play too!  
  
=  
  
3 hours later...  
  
=  
  
Sakura paused the game, Kakashi and Sasuke looked at her.  
  
"I just remembered! Onichimaru is going to attack!" Sakura said as she stood up.  
  
"Orochimaru?!" Kakashi and Sasuke said in un-belief.  
  
"NO! ONICHIMARU!"  
  
"OMG! ONICHIMARU? ......He's so fucking easy..." Kakashi said as he daydreamed fighting him.  
  
"How did you find this information?" Sasuke said as he ignored Kakashi.  
  
"The Sake wrapper in Naruto's room..."  
  
=  
  
Naruto's room  
  
=  
  
Naruto sat on his bed and stared at the floor. His eyes were shadowed and showed no emotion at all.  
  
Kakashi broke down Naruto's door and said something around the lines of him being team 7's ruler.  
  
The trio huddled around the wrapper on the wall and read the warning.  
  
Kakashi looked at Naruto and saw his face.  
  
"Kakashi-sensei? Is Naruto okay?" Sakura said as she looked at him.  
  
Kakashi walked over to him and poked him.

No response. Kakashi shook him softly. No response. Kakashi shook him roughly. No response. Kakashi then shook him violently. No response. He then put 'Yodeling to the Oldies' on. OMG... Guess What? No response.  
  
"THE POOR BOY MUST BE IN SHOCK! HEARING THE NEWS OF HIS DOOM MUST HAVE MADE HIM GO INTO A COMA! OMG!" Kakashi said as he shook him again.  
  
"Or it could just be this..." Sasuke said as he held up the almost empty bag of weed mixed with all of these speed-pills.  
  
"Oh..." 

Kakashi said as he walked from Naruto to the wrapper and ripped it off the wall and walked out of the room leaving Sakura and Sasuke puzzled.  
  
"But sensei...those are drugs...their illegal..." Sakura said as she eyed the bag of weed with caution.  
  
She was suddenly pinned to the wall by a huge force. Kakashi appeared in front of her with his arm in front of her neck. His eye was red and he looked pissed off.  
  
"That's why your not going to tell anyone...got it?"

Kakashi said in a threating voice. Sakura just nodded and Kakashi's visible eye turned into a up-side down crescent moon as he smiled and said good. And with that, he was gone with a poof.  
  
Sakura's face was white and one bead of sweat rolled down her cheek. Sasuke looked at her as he made sure she didn't see him as he slid the bag in his pocket.  
  
"Wanna go to Ichiraku Ramen Noodle Bar?"

Sasuke said as he gripped his wallet in his pocket.  
  
Naruto's face grew back his color as did his beady blue eyes as his eyes sparkled and stood up and said sure.  
  
Sakura's mind raced as she dreamt of her and Sasuke sharing a bowl together and holding hands in a split second.  
  
Sakura's face turned back to normal and said a yeah in confidence. And with that, the team was off to the Ramen Bar.  
  
=  
  
TBC  
  
=  
  
MWAHAHAHA...

I just thought of something...

If it's Ichiraku Ramen Noodle BAR...does that mean they can buy beer there? I mean...it's a BAR....for Pete's sake...who the hells Pete anyway? The next chapter is a deleted scene...IT'S THE SAME CHAPTER BUT SCOTT ADDED SOMETHING AFTER SAKURA SAYS DRUGS ARE ILLEGLE. IM SORRY FOR HIS GENDER MIX-UP WITH SAKURA. He does not read Naruto....The next chapter might disturb you though...  
  
Review?


	3. Deleted Scene

DISCLAIMER: I don't own them...

WARNING:

BEWARE!

THIS IS A DELETED CHAPER OF ONICHIMARU DANCE DANCE AND THE WATER GUN CLAN.

IT CONTAINS SLIGHT LIME.

IT IS NOT THE ACTUAL CHAPTER.

NONE OF THE STUNTS/ ACTIONS TAKING PLACE HERE WERE ACCIDENTLY TYPED BY THE AUTHORESS' FRIEND, SCOTT.

NONE OF THE WORDS TYPED IN THE STORY IS TRUE. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY AND WE APOLOGIZE FOR ANY INCONVENINCE.

On with my story...

=

Team 7's Apartment

=

It took Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke a while to go back to Naruto's room.

First, on the way to tell Kakashi that Onichimaru was behind this, Sakura eyed their new Game Sphere2 sitting next to the T.V.

And it turned out Sasuke-kun was playing Mario Party4!

Kakashi was playing too I guess...

...Oh look!

...Sasuke-kun is playing!

So...Sakura thought she should play too!

=

3 hours later...

=

Sakura paused the game, Kakashi and Sasuke looked at her.

"I just remembered! Onichimaru is going to attack!" Sakura said as she stood up.

"Orochimaru?!" Kakashi and Sasuke said in un-belief.

"NO! ONICHIMARU!"

"OMG! ONICHIMARU? ......He's so fucking easy..." Kakashi said as he daydreamed fighting him.

"How did you find this information?" Sasuke said as he ignored Kakashi.

"The Sake wrapper in Naruto's room..."

=

Naruto's room

=

Naruto sat on his bed and stared at the floor. His eyes were shadowed and showed no emotion at all.

Kakashi broke down Naruto's door and said something around the lines of him being team 7's ruler.

The trio huddled around the wrapper on the wall and read the warning.

Kakashi looked at Naruto and saw his face.

"Kakashi-sensei? Is Naruto okay?" Sakura said as she looked at him.

Kakashi walked over to him and poked him.

No response.

Kakashi shook him softly.

No response.

Kakashi shook him roughly.

No response.

Kakashi then shook him violently.

No response.

He then put 'Yodeling to the Oldies' on.

OMG...

Guess What?

No response.

"THE POOR BOY MUST BE IN SHOCK! HEARING THE NEWS OF HIS DOOM MUST HAVE MADE HIM GO INTO A COMA!OMG!"Kakashi said as he shook him again.

"Or it could just be this..." Sasuke said as he held up the almost empty bag of weed mixed with all of these speed-pills.

"Oh..." Kakashi said as he walked from Naruto to the wrapper and ripped it off the wall and walked out of the room leaving Sakura and Sasuke puzzled.

=

Scott's little 'add on'

=

"But sensei...those are drugs...their illegal..." Sakura said as she eyed the bag of weed with caution. Sensei then said "drugs are not always bad....some drugs can calm u down and others can help u get laid."

Sakura was puzzled but when sensei offered him some he finally understood drugs... he swallowed the pill and 5 minutes later the whole world felt like a giant orgy of colors and emotions.. Sensei drove Sakura to the night club where he met Chloishi..

(A/N: Scott said Chloishi is suposed to be Chloe...dont ask why....) the room was dark the music was loud and the rapid flashes of light and laser shows clearly indicated the party was roaring.. chloishi touched his arm and it felt like a wild orgasm, he brought her in the back room of the night club where sensei could not find him and threw chloishi onto the floor.

(A/N: This is SUPER gross....)

Chloishi whipped out his penis and began teasing him with her tongue. Sakura never felt this much pleasure before not even those times Sensei played the touching game with him in the dojo... Sakura gently pushed Chloishi to the floor and ripped off her clothes.... Sakura thought to him self "yes drugs are good"

She was suddenly pinned to the wall by a huge force. Sakura appeared in front of her with his arm in front of her neck. His eye was red and he looked pissed off.

"Your not going to tell anyone...got it?" Sakura said in a threating voice. Chloishi just nodded and Sakura's visible eye turned into a up-side down crescent moon as he smiled and said good. And with that, he was gone with a 'poof'.

=

End

=

I was out at Media Play getting the new slipknot cd when Scott did this. He was home with Chloe and I forgot to exit out of Microsoft Word before leaving the house.

Oops?

I came home and clicked the space bar to get rid of the screen saver and I saw all of those red lines under this name, 'Chloishi'. And I was like, WTF? I read it and screamed,

"SCOTT! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAKURA'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MADE HER GAY!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

and then my mom was like,

"Shut up....grrr..."

so I stopped ranting and put it as a deleted scene. I was going to call him a son-of-a-bitch....but I'm friends with his mom.

I hope you enjoyed it...I didn't really...

Review?


End file.
